Dance With The Devil

Dennis Murphy Correspondent • Profile

Just because John Wayne supposedly played a character based on your father in the movies - a World War II admiral hero who whipped into shape the Fighting Seabees -it doesn't mean you have to follow in his daunting footsteps.

But John Perry –Admiral John Perry – did just that. A Navy man whose badges of honor earned him an enviable kind of all access backstage pass to life that made doors open, sitting presidents salute and certain women--one in particular--glow to simply be in his company.

Barbara Bentley would be swept away by John's ease and command. But she'd also be swept into the swirling tide of his mysterious and secretive life ... and a world of subterfuge and intrigue it would take her decades to surface from. 

Who could have guessed that Barbara's fate would change so utterly with a friend's invitation to drinks and dinner?

Barbara: A friend calls me at work and says, "Oh, could you do me a favor?  Could you do me a favor?  Could you come for the dinner party tonight?  I need a fourth for dinner."

Barbara was thirty-five and recently separated from her husband. She'd been on her own for more than a year in California's Bay Area, and was growing more comfortably into the routines of a single woman.

Barbara:  I had a good job.  I was going to school.

Dennis Murphy, Dateline NBC:  So, you were really taking care of yourself--

Barbara: Right, right.

Dennis Murphy: And your life was in shape.

Barbara: Right, thinkin' I'm a very independent woman.

So when her friend told her the other dinner guest would be a retired rear admiral from the Navy--even though Barbara was beat from analyzing samples at the chemical company lab where she worked--she decided to join her friend's dinner.  Her blind date introduced himself as John Perry. 

Dennis Murphy: So, what'd you think of this guy?

Barbara:  A lot of stories, I was fascinated by them.  He was very interesting. He said his father was Admiral Perry that started the Seabees in World War II, and that his great-grandfather on his mother's side was Admiral Perry that went to the North Pole. 

Perry dazzled Barbara and the other dinner guests with stories about being shot down in combat as a naval aviator....missions as a Navy Seal, flying with the Blue Angels, commanding the Swift Boats in Vietnam.

Barbara: So, here's this man with a lotta pedigrees, so to say.  And he was interested in me!

When the evening was over, John Perry walked her to her car.  Within weeks, they'd started dating ... after a few months, John moved in.   And as Barbara's new man blended into her social circle, he made quite the impression.

Donald: When he walked into the room, it's like everybody kind of stopped because you knew somebody had come in the door.

Toni: He had a charisma and a presence about him.

George: He came across as someone who knew what he was talking about.  He was very authoritative.

With such a special man beside her, Barbara's life became richer and more adventurous than she'd ever hoped for.  John Perry's work securing government contracts for clients often took him -- and now Barbara -- out of the country: to the Caribbean where they soaked up the sun, to Mexico City where they strolled the markets.  The distinguished retired officer was showing Barbara a new world, the good life of gourmet cuisine, vintage wines, fine art.  She was over the moon with it.

Toni: Here he comes along like he's Donald Trump.  You're going out to dinner, you're flying first-class.  I mean, anybody is going to be whisked off their feet. 

But--nagging problem, one getting worse--back in California the bills were piling up.  Their five-star lifestyle was being funded on plastic -- and John's commission checks for his consulting work only trickled in.  What's more, Barbara realized that her new companion wasn't just a big spender on the business trips. Fine crystal, rare whiskies, collectibles were everyday indulgences.

Barbara: I started to talk with him about it. "Well, you know, this isn't gonna do." And then he would get into his very defensive mode of, "Well, if you don't like it, I'll just pack my bags and leave." 

John's threats to split sent Barbara into a panic.  If he left, she'd have to shoulder their debt alone -- and admit she was a two-time loser in love. 

So she quickly smoothed things over with John just as he announced he'd come up with a plan to solve their money problems.  Barbara still owned half of a nice big house with a pool from her marriage.  Her ex was living in it temporarily, but John suggested they buy him out and move back in -- fix it up -- then put it back on the market for a tidy profit.

The mortgage payments would make their budget squeak, but in the end Barbara agreed.  The couple had barely unpacked their boxes when John Perry popped a cork -- and popped the question.

Dennis Murphy: How did you feel about becoming Mrs. Rear Admiral? 

Barbara: It had a nice ring to it.  (laugh) I was very, very proud to have him as my husband.

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